يك اتفاق ساده!
Hi honey, this is Daddy.....is your mommy near the phone? No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank " Brief pause.Daddy says: "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey." Yes I do. He's upstairs with Mommy now."Daddy says: " Honey, let's play a joke. Put down the phone, knock on the bedroom door, and tell Mommy that Daddy's home." " Okay, Daddy." A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "I didwhat you said, Daddy."And what happened?" Well, Mommy jumped out of the bed, ran around screaming, then trippedover the rug and fell downstairs. She's not moving anymore."" I'm sorry honey. What about Uncle Frank?" " He jumped out the back window into the swimming pool...but he must have forgotten that last week you took out all the water for winter,so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and he's not moving either." Long pause...Daddy asks, "Swimming pool?? Is this 597-7039?" "No."
یکشنبه، آبان ۲۹، ۱۳۸۴
شنبه، آبان ۲۸، ۱۳۸۴
به خود اميدوار باشيم!!
True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(THIS ONE KILLS ME!)
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red... Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: No.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. --------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(THIS ONE KILLS ME!)
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red... Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: No.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. --------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
چهارشنبه، آبان ۲۵، ۱۳۸۴
فال امروز
سال ها دفتر ما در گرو صهبا بود
رونق ميكده از درس و دعاي ما بود
نيكي پير مغان بين كه چو ما بد مستان
هرچه كرديم به چشم كرمش زيبا بود
دل چو پرگار ز زهر شو دوراني ميكرد
و اندر آن دايره سركشته و پا بر جا بود
مي شكفتم ز طرب زانكه چو گل بر لب جوي
بر سرم سايه آن سرو سهي بالا بود
پير گلرنگ من اندر حق ازرق پوشان
رخصت خبث نداد ارنه حكايت ها بود
دفتر دانش ما جمله بشوييد به مي
كه فلك ديدم و در قصد دل دانا بود
مطرب از درد محبت غزلي مي پرداخت
كه حكيمان جهان را مژه خون پالان بود
قلب اندوده ي حافظ بر او خرج بشد
كاين معامل به همه عيب نهان بينا بود
حافظ
سال ها دفتر ما در گرو صهبا بود
رونق ميكده از درس و دعاي ما بود
نيكي پير مغان بين كه چو ما بد مستان
هرچه كرديم به چشم كرمش زيبا بود
دل چو پرگار ز زهر شو دوراني ميكرد
و اندر آن دايره سركشته و پا بر جا بود
مي شكفتم ز طرب زانكه چو گل بر لب جوي
بر سرم سايه آن سرو سهي بالا بود
پير گلرنگ من اندر حق ازرق پوشان
رخصت خبث نداد ارنه حكايت ها بود
دفتر دانش ما جمله بشوييد به مي
كه فلك ديدم و در قصد دل دانا بود
مطرب از درد محبت غزلي مي پرداخت
كه حكيمان جهان را مژه خون پالان بود
قلب اندوده ي حافظ بر او خرج بشد
كاين معامل به همه عيب نهان بينا بود
حافظ
جمعه، آبان ۱۳، ۱۳۸۴
سهشنبه، آبان ۱۰، ۱۳۸۴
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